Yesterday I was angry.

Angry that once again a doctor was telling me I had to change my diet. More specifically, that I had to eliminate more foods.

It did not sit well with me.

After four months of diligently sticking to an eating plan, it felt like the rug was ripped out from underneath me, again.

Why did it feel that way?

Why was my reaction so emotion filled?

I got up today and told myself I wasn’t going to let this keep me down.

I knew I had to change my outlook if I didn’t want to remain in a place of misery.

I had to step outside myself to realize that I haven’t been myself for awhile now, due to my fixation on food and numbers.

I am a type 1 diabetic, which means I do need to pay attention to those things, but I was doing it to the point of expecting and pushing perfection.

I had become rigid, and in order to be so rigid, I had to ignore everything else in my life.

I have this thing about me, where I get hyper focused on one or two things. Those things become what I’m good at. I put everything that I am, into those things. That means that anything outside of those things gets dropped and forgotten.

My ketogenic diet is where all my energy has been going, which means I didn’t take well to having someone step in and mess with it.

Here’s the other thing… I’ve been so focused on the physical part of taking care of my body, that I left no room for the feeling part. The emotional and spiritual side of me had been dropped on the floor.

Now that I can clearly see this, I hope that I can let go of some rigidity, and find a balance that allows me to be more than the food I put in my body and numbers on a glucose monitor.

I hope I can nurture the other parts of who I am that have been neglected.